So you think you're crazy like us? Great!
We're hiring... again!
Rapido's email inbox is causing Jordan, Dan and Lystra some serious sleepless nights. Some weekends we can get 200 emails and then by the time they have caught up, there are 200 more.
We're looking for a new customer service person to help the team with those emails. But once you're here, we want you to do SO. MUCH. MORE.
Here's the job description:
- You answer to Janet. Yes, Janet. Tiger Mother Janet. But don't worry! She's really a sweetheart especially if you bring her Montreal bagels.
- You need to have at least five years of administrative/customer service experience. Pumping gas may cover the customer service side of things, but "administrator of the dipstick" doesn't really cut it.
- You need to have extensive experience with The Computer Machine. Last time we hired someone who only pretended they had computer experience, they managed to delete our entire product development database. If you do that, YOU will be deleted.
- You need to have excellent written and spoken skills, including pronouncing kilometer the right way and knowing how to use an apostrophe. In fact, pronouncing kilometre the right way (KILL-oh-meeter) could help you move up in this company because Jason has voodoo dolls of all staff members who pronounce it the wrong way, and those needles really hurt.
- If you think there is nothing wrong with saying "Me and him went to the store," you need not apply.
- You need to be extremely organized, so you can update inventory, handle account and order inquires, and process invoices (only once - for some reason customers don't like when we charge them four times for the same purchase).
- You need to be willing to help out in other departments, such as shipping stuff in the warehouse and buying milk for everyone's coffee/tea. In fact, that last point is the main focus of your job. You are the Milk Whisperer.
- You can't be dumb as a post.
- You need to be able to work at Rapido HQ, which is located in Markham, Ontario, Canada. Whenever we post these job openings, we get lots of emails from people in lovely places like Yechupetzville or Val de Ruchus who say they can commute (no they can't) or can move to Markham (no they can't.) If you sell your five-bedroom house in Lower Transwitch you can buy a Deluxe Porta Potty in the Toronto area.
- You've read this ridiculous job description and you still want to apply. If you are shaking your head and muttering "what a bunch of dorks," please don't apply.
Rapido Trains Inc. is an equal opportunity employer committed to hiring without bias toward gender, gender identity, sexual orientation, ethnicity, country of origin, religion, spiritual beliefs or disability.
Accommodations Under AODA
Accommodations are available upon request for candidates taking part in the selection process. If you require an accommodation, please e-mail us at [email protected]
Thank you for applying
Rapido Trains Inc. would like to thank all candidates for applying, however only those who are selected for an interview will be contacted.